Hi Annie, goosebumps!!! discussed this yesterday!! When we search to attribute blame, careful not to fall into victim mode.
When we see the darkness for what it is, it is only lack of light. Your story reflects how giving light can change a situation. .
Forgiveness is also hugely misunderstood in the context of blame. You don’t have to forgive nor feel guilty. If you do not understand nor have processed the hurt. It adds to further traumatization.